<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>You didn't care by abesallery</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27993888">You didn't care</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/abesallery/pseuds/abesallery'>abesallery</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse, Angst, Death, Depression, Hurt No Comfort, Mean Parents, Mental Abuse, Other, Pain, Sadness, Suicide, Tags to be added, denied freedom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:33:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>961</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27993888</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/abesallery/pseuds/abesallery</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I tried to let people know. They wouldn't let me.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You didn't care</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was too much, the pain too great. It was consuming. It filled me to the core, spilling over in waves, crashing down at my feet, pooling there. It covered me, clung to me, threatening to take me under. I wanted it to; I wanted to let go.</p>
<p>I was once again denied freedom, something I craved so desperately. It was something I needed to survive. But those who held power over me, they would not yield. Not to my crying, not to my begging, not to my pleading. They simply laughed in my face, oblivious to me, not seeing what they were doing. They didn't care, simply pretending to. They fooled everyone, everyone except me.</p>
<p>I tried to work my way around them, to find even the smallest hint of that free feeling, to not be held down by my superiors, but they blocked my every attempt. It crushed me, filled me with despair. I needed it like one needed fresh air, like a child needed its mamma, like the grass needed rain. But they never stopped, never considered my emotions, my pain.</p>
<p>They claimed it was in my age's nature, my young years that caused my mood swings, my hatred toward them. They said it was just me being a teen, my hormones were all over the place. But I knew it wasn't that. I knew I would carry these resentful feelings for the rest of my life.</p>
<p>When I tried to reach out, to try and contact others, to admit my feelings, they stopped me, making me burn with them on my own, unable to carry the load myself. I needed someone to help me. Anyone. But they didn't care. They saw my struggle, turning away, trying to assure those who also saw that it was simply a teenage thing. That it was nothing to worry about. Heaven knows how much they tried to help me, to put me on the right track. But I knew they were lies. Full of nothing but lies. </p>
<p>I could have lived with it. I only had 2 years and a month. Then, I would be free, having started to live my own life without them. But they cut my contact with the one person that kept me sane, the one person who was the only reason I had not caved in on myself. When I saw that I could no longer find the comfort I seeked, I couldn't cope. I crumbled, crashing to the ground in a pile of self-hate and depression. My mind blanked, my body working on autopilot. I only registered what I was doing after I started to scream at them, letting the fire take over.</p>
<p>"I hate you!" I cried out, unable to stop. "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!"</p>
<p>They looked at me, at each other, and laughed. I was confused, scared. They were supposed to notice, to realize. They didn't. Their next words had my heart sinking deep withing me, unable to be found again.</p>
<p>"We don't care," they cackled. "Did you think we did?"</p>
<p>It felt like the air was ripped from my lungs, I felt dizzy. They didn't care. They never did. It all suddenly made sense, but in the most heart-shattering way. I wanted to cry, but I had nothing left. No tears. They were gone a long while ago, unable to keep up with my sadness. They gave up on me too.</p>
<p>I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, staring at my dead eyes. When did they get like that? My eyes used to be so pretty, sparkling, holding dark brown and moss green, seeming to swirl with life. But now, they were dull, empty, not being to show the emotion, as I didn't have any. Not anymore.</p>
<p>I stared a bit longer, until I didn't look like a person anymore, only a shell. A shell of who I used to be. I didn't have a reason not to chase that freedom myself. Oh, how I wanted to so badly. I was slipping, falling into that all consuming pain. It sucked me in, giving me no way out. I was too far gone.</p>
<p>I lifted the bottle, taking all the contents at once. Pain killers. Maybe I wouldn't hurt any more. They were supposed to help with pain, right? Perhaps they would work on helping me soothe my internal turmoil at my actions. I might as well do it. Nothing was left here for me anymore.</p>
<p>I laid down, pain pulsing through me, dragging me down to a place further than Hell. I was burning from the inside, everything was melting. I was no longer a person, just a husk. No life was left, only hurt and sadness. I accepted that this was me now. I was glad I was leaving this body. I could feel it. Freedom was at my fingertips. I reached for it, grasped it, unwilling to let go. For the first time in a long time, I smiled.</p>
<p>They found me later that day, my body still and cold. They stared, almost not believing what they were seeing. They tried to wake me, becoming more frantic the longer I took to respond. I never did. They called the ambulance, but they knew it was too late. They were both in tears, streaming down their face. They didn't deserve to weep, not when they took that luxury away from me. It was only after they had to move me, did they find it. My note, containing only 6 words. But, oh, the people who hurt me so deeply, so harshly, were not ready for it. With wide, teary eyes, my parents read the words written on the page:</p>
<p>
  <em>Don't cry. You don't care, remember?</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is all about me and a bit of my imagination. Hope it wasn't too sad for you guys. Thank you for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>